keti’s delivery service

 Mar 16, 2023 2:30pm  location: Patch of Heaven Sanctuary If God could preserve Jonah in the belly of the whale Then God will preserve me in the belly of this capitalist white supremacist patriarchal imperial bloodthirsty beast  until I'm spat out with a word on my tongue that will free generations no devil or demon can stop me He anointed me to take back stolen territory restore the earth back to eden chant good news with the poor as we march towards kingdom riches that the so called wealthy of this earth are bankrupt in crushing serpent heads as we stomp  abolishing physical and mental prisons holding us captive expressing faith in love that breaks chains whether they are our own or in solidarity because we are all members of one body together we make up a mosiac of Gods image can't see His full glory unless we are in unity Remembering the real enemy  Praising our creator instead of worshipping creation  People want to thank the universe for God's handiwo...

Feb 21, 23 oops I did it again craved being chosen by people who will never see me as worthy keep trying to scrutinize myself from their eyes always room for improvement right? or maybe you could see my special already honor my humanity discern the reason God sent me while I'm present  not a distant memory enough to listen and see why I deserve room in your heart  consistently  don't know the line between  long suffering and letting go of things not for me Can never discern if it’s hope or breadcrumbs I’m eating please don't prove my mother right when she tells me I'm hard to love just want someone to fall for me  Like I do effortlessly  don't regret what I gave you but something about the lack of reciprocation is triggering and gets filed as evidence that there's something fundamentally unlovable about me that needs further study and makes me want to retreat back to my shell that says to forever hold my peace and never confess these feelings to someone who...

June 23, 22 tired of love being a minefield  don't know what's going to trigger her next blow  try to brace for detonation but still get broken to pieces  by heartless words prefer the hits because they leave more evidence than the verbal attacks that are  swords piercing my soul in the unseen making me internalize deprecation as humility  because shouldn't the people in closest proximity see me most clearly? instead her eyes are clouded by the worst of me  always studied my weakest points  so she can make efficient strikes Purple Heart to replace my beating one my cries never provoked sympathy just activated her rabies  foaming at the mouth she spews poison at me  her wrath knows no mercy  so hard to pretend everything is okay  when she pushes all my buttons until I malfunction this time projecting  yelling at me for mistakes that she makes bc she's the only one allowed to be imperfect  constantly sifting me until she fin...

I have so many dreams some would say too many as if whittling myself down to one dimension is my destiny there's so many layers to me I'm still unpeeling I am becoming a poet peacemaker storyteller  community organizer living sacrifice  faithful visionary gentle mother revolutionary lover warrior woman my biggest fear is untapped potential  resisting the voices that tell me there's not enough time or energy Bc I serve a God in whom all things are within my reach 

the more I try to outswim shame the more I submit to being its prey need to catch it by the element of surprise by facing the lies that I am broken, unlovable, and worthless and replace it with God's truth that I am loved, wonderfully made, and saved  finding the source lets compassion stream through  the root of their harm  is the trauma that never got transformed  and had no other choice but to transmit and if I don't heal I'm bound to be just like them   deceived into the belief that the only way to transcend victimhood is to take vengeance into their own hands and become perpetrator but there is another way  can't let the pain hinder me from loving fully  or write my story  Jesus is the coauthor of my biography don't know the plot but I know the ending  what the devil meant for evil  Christ will use for my victory  and the most powerful weapon I have against enemies is love, grace, and mercy 

Nov 10, 22 I was once a teardrop  out of my Creator's eye they call rain shed over the evils His creation became The fall was scary  the splashes separated my family some were beaten to foam but I survived only to be bottled up for consumption they called me a precious resource to be commodified they wanted to fight wars over my scarcity But what I longed for was to be returned to  the river God placed me  be a home for the fish not nourish this  insatiable human's body so he can fuel further droughts  part of another whole  not meant to conform to the corners of this canteen but where my consciousness can stream free 

 Dec 6 2020 There's something inside me incessantly screaming  I used to hear her cries but nothing ever satisfied so now I subdue she aches for some change  from all the pain but I churn it away something tells me this is the raw material  violence is made of