heavy times

 Dec 3, 2020

"How can you be an artist and not reflect the times?" -Nina Simone

To hold the memory of this moment

feels too heavy 

to blow the thoughts away in a cloud that 

promises to numb the pain is 

tempting

because to plug back in

means to be a complicit cog in the capitalist machine that 

lynches Black bodies like clockwork

and praises whiteness as subconscious religion 

we all want no part but most stay stuck in this hamster wheel of contradiction

no time to be still and reflect

just running for our lives

taught to live slice by slice  

that the rich dangle as false generosity called charity 

too alienated to organize in community 

too burned out to resist

too indoctrinated to raise their fist 

too traumatized to love without fear 

Our solidarity not our productivity makes us human

organizing so we aren't alienated atoms but 

one 

living 

breathing 

body 

that can flow back to our source in unity 

I am an unreliable narrator to these times

Too stunned to speak 

or grasp the language to help us see the radical possibility

sometimes I fear the authentic path is lonely 

maybe this isn't my purpose 

I want to die 

but not reactionary suicide

the revolutionary kind Huey describes

driven not by death wish but a strong desire for life 

that doesn't compromise our hope and human dignity 

Planting seeds for future generations to reap 

death of my flesh is not a loss to me 

because there's an eternal place prepared for souls who never sacrifice their integrity