your loss not my lack

eager to swim through your mind

but not sure you saw the depth of mine

I don't mind listening

but couldn't tell if you liked me

or hearing your own answers to my questioning

trying to be balanced and see the red flags 

instead of being blinded by infatuation

like how it stung a bit when you compared me to twice 

to the girl I suspect you actually fancy 

spent awhile getting over my jealousy 

it was like you were inviting me back in to compete

but I don't play that game 

I am a girl's girl and wouldn't let a man get in the way of that 

have to tell myself I have my own lane 

can't afford looking to my side unless I'm cheering my sister on

or passing the baton

don't know if its a bad sign you bring out my envious side

trusting God to release me from the shackles of ruminating in regret

it's not my lack, 

it's your loss

He is my strength in weakness 

and I don't have to prove anything 

just going to wait for the eyes to see

ears to hear

and heart that beats my love language 

nevertheless I still crave your conversation

the way you see things subversively is my cup of tea

critical dialogue is my dirty talk 

If we had stared any longer at each other in silence I knew I would blow my cover 

kept my feelings in my treasure chest because 

I'm not sure I can trust you with my pearls 

don't think you saw the shine hidden behind my shell

not saying you're swine but 

still not sure you're bone of my bone

and flesh of my flesh 

hoped you would make a move 

because it's my dream to be pursued by a muse

but maybe you're too realistic for that 

and was too focused on the borders and barriers between us

that I seek to abolish 

I'm more optimistic than you 

because I'm willing to wait on miracles and walk in faith

seeing how God can work this out

but it seems like you've been stripped clean of radically imagining 

and probably see me as naive

but I'm not compromising my hope in better for anybody