I lack nothing
July 2, 2023
the day before he ended things
Keep imagining us parting
don't know if it's rooted in paranoia or prophecy
false narratives fighting to explain your lack of consistency
like maybe I burdened you with my insecurities
instead of being fun and flirty
I would say the lines
its okay
I'm not meant for everybody
just the one God sent for me
and I guess we're not meant to be
but I don't regret trying
you'll always be a blessing
to which he would reply
that's sweet
and being liked by you was an honor
the man for you is gonna be lucky
keep praying for confirmation
they say it's when you feel God's presence
when I dwell on my feelings for you
its unconditional love begging to bud without brakes
and isn't that God?
But there's another part of me
that says to hold back and guard my heart
don't be naive
not sure if this is wisdom
or insecurity
did you just want a sip of my nectar so you could be onto the next flower?
pollinate every pretty girl you see instead of flourish with me?
I prayed to God if you don't have pure intentions for me
for us to end it respectfully
before further entangling
and then you call me
I try to initiate vulnerability
confess I feel distance and miss you
rather than reciprocating
you respond I've been thinking
and later we should talk about some things
everything in me screaming
see!!
he wants to end things!!
Lord give me peace
I'm reminded Jesus is all I need
July 4, 2023
but it still stings
wondering if he's also hurting
or maybe he got so good at compartmentalizing
he's turned off every feeling for me
had a dream you were touching someone else already
is this God's warning you're over me?
now all I have are memories
wish I had known the last time you held and kissed me
would be my last opportunity
I would've savored it more
reminded to cherish every sweet moment
accept it for what it is
fleeting
instead of assuming
this could be more than a fling
July 5, 2023
Yes I’m sad but I have peace
This Christian walk isn’t easy
But I know it’s what’s best for me
Learned the hard way that my way is captivity
And who the son sets free is free indeed
Capturing lies that I’m not worth the wait
Or should compromise my faith
Because I trust God has good plans for me
That obedience isn’t restriction but true liberty
No this is not spiritual bypassing
Just simply recognizing
If the Lord is with me
I lack nothing
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