I lack nothing

 July 2, 2023

the day before he ended things


Keep imagining us parting

don't know if it's rooted in paranoia or prophecy 

false narratives fighting to explain your lack of consistency

like maybe I burdened you with my insecurities

instead of being fun and flirty 


I would say the lines

its okay

I'm not meant for everybody

just the one God sent for me

and I guess we're not meant to be 

but I don't regret trying

you'll always be a blessing

to which he would reply 

that's sweet 

and being liked by you was an honor

the man for you is gonna be lucky


keep praying for confirmation

they say it's when you feel God's presence

when I dwell on my feelings for you

its unconditional love begging to bud without brakes

and isn't that God?


But there's another part of me

that says to hold back and guard my heart

don't be naive

not sure if this is wisdom 

or insecurity

did you just want a sip of my nectar so you could be onto the next flower?

pollinate every pretty girl you see instead of flourish with me?

I prayed to God if you don't have pure intentions for me

for us to end it respectfully

before further entangling

and then you call me

I try to initiate vulnerability

confess I feel distance and miss you

rather than reciprocating 

you respond I've been thinking 

and later we should talk about some things

everything in me screaming

see!!

he wants to end things!!

Lord give me peace

I'm reminded Jesus is all I need 



July 4, 2023


but it still stings 

wondering if he's also hurting

or maybe he got so good at compartmentalizing

he's turned off every feeling for me 

had a dream you were touching someone else already 

is this God's warning you're over me?

now all I have are memories

wish I had known the last time you held and kissed me

would be my last opportunity 

I would've savored it more

reminded to cherish every sweet moment

accept it for what it is

fleeting

instead of assuming

this could be more than a fling 


July 5, 2023


Yes I’m sad but I have peace

This Christian walk isn’t easy

But I know it’s what’s best for me

Learned the hard way that my way is captivity

And who the son sets free is free indeed

Capturing lies that I’m not worth the wait 

Or should compromise my faith

Because I trust God has good plans for me

That obedience isn’t restriction but true liberty 

No this is not spiritual bypassing 

Just simply recognizing 

If the Lord is with me 

I lack nothing 





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